Really, it is a pointless thing to worry about. “Don’t worry about being someone else’s definition of enough.” - Sophia Bush ⌄ Scroll down to continue reading article ⌄ “They believe I am not enough, so it must be true.” Sometimes, it takes some reminiscing and a vision to get the ball rolling. It was that self-reflecting combined with visualization of the future that propelled me into writing novels. Since I was a child, I was writing fiction and non-fiction books. In college, years ago, I once said to someone, “I could try to write a book, but…” Already, I gave up before starting. You are good enough when you do your best work. If you’ve said, “I am not good enough, so I won’t,” it means you’ve spent not enough time focusing on your uniqueness, qualities and abilities you have because you’re looking at everybody else.ĭon’t bother looking at someone else in your respective industry who is not in the place you are professionally. The compare and contrast game is a dangerous one to play. Examples of Self-Defeating Thoughts “I am not good enough, so why bother?”Īt one point or another, we’ve all been there, possibly. Eventually, a negative mindset will take its toll on you and prevent you from moving forward in your career and other areas of your life. You might be able to function in a poor mindset for a while. Without it, you’re like a car trying to run without gas. The old me, more than ten years ago, used to give up before trying or tell myself, “I failed at X, Y, or Z, so I shouldn’t even bother doing anything else.” If that was still my mindset today, I wouldn’t have gone on to write books and publish health and wellness articles in national journals.Ī strong, healthy and accurate mindset is critical for breaking the cycle and patterns of self-defeat. ![]() ⌄ Scroll down to continue reading article ⌄ I used to psyche myself out and it stopped me in my tracks. When I find myself worrying about projects before they’re published or are sent off for the world to see, some days, I need affirmations. Author Elizabeth Gilbert wrote all about creating without fear. It’s important to assess and problem solve what’s causing such inner conflict and leading to sabotage and loss of opportunities. Our thoughts may act as blockers, to stop us from reaching a certain point in our careers or personal lives. Fear is a funny (and ultimately destructive) thing. Once you got close to reaching a goal, you might have sabotaged something purposely and later kicked yourself hard. By this I mean, you could be afraid of success because you feel failure is the only realistic outcome. Fear of FailureĪnother thing you might be subconsciously avoiding is failure. Self-defeat may be an unforeseen cop-out or a way to avoid seemingly daunting challenges. Distorted thoughts play a major role in how you perceive and respond to situations or the world around you.ĭistorted thoughts are false and derive from deep emotional or personal struggles and fears. Whether you accept this or not, thoughts have a lot of power. We keep reaffirming in our minds how great and amazing we are until a voice begins shouting, “YEAH RIGHT,” or, you’ve written those words in red crayon on your desk somewhere. Inner dialogue is another type of process which triggers a rabbit hole of negativity. ⌄ Scroll down to continue reading article ⌄ Negative Inner Dialogue Let’s delve into self-defeating thoughts, first. It might not be the first time you’ve acted impulsively because a distorted thought rang in your head along the lines of: “Who am I kidding? It’s not happening. Chances are, you’ve made costly mistakes as a result of these self-defeating thoughts and brain-engraved patterns. ![]() Maybe you didn’t get your nine hours of sleep the night before. You tell yourself you were stressed, overloaded with work, or not completely with the program. ![]() It’s easy to blame it on stress, as everybody often does. Have you found yourself in a situation where later, you’ve said: “I could have avoided all of that stress if I didn’t do X, Y, or Z.” After some reflection, you’ve maybe realized you have been there in the past. And then, there’s habits of self-defeat, the ones we might not recognize are hurting rather than helping us. If you’re engaging in healthy habits such as brushing your teeth each morning and night, your trips to the dentist will be less painful, if at all. Our brains actively try to keep us from changing our ways, from trying new things and leaving our comfort zones. Humans are creatures of habit and thrive on habits most of the time. It takes recognizing the situations in your life and past struggles that caused such a down spiral of these self-defeating patterns. Self-defeat is something you can overcome. If you’ve found yourself repeating self-defeating thoughts and behaviors, it’s critical to understand the root causes of where these thoughts and behaviors are coming from.
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